"Your Crush is Coming Over." Emergency T-shirt Guide

Problem:

You said “Sure, come over!” and now you’re 45 minutes away from a romantic encounter while wearing a mustard-stained shirt that says “I’m just here for the WiFi.”

Solution:

Time to deploy the Secret Weapon Tee.

This is the shirt you pull out when you need to look like you’re effortlessly hilarious, definitely showered, and possibly employed. It needs to say:

“Yes, I own books.”

“Yes, I’m emotionally available (but in a mysterious way).”

“No, you can’t tell I panicked 10 minutes ago and Febreezed my couch.”

Here are your options:

The “I’m Chill But I’ll Ruin Your Life” Tee – works every time. It’s humble. It’s dangerous.

The “Vintage Band You’ve Never Heard Of” Tee – a great way to deflect from your fear of intimacy.

The “I Ironically Support Myself” Tee – both vulnerable and smug. Perfect combo.

Literally any clean shirt from our shop, because the real win here is not looking like you live in a Twitch stream.

Moral of the story:

Don’t let a bad outfit be the reason your love life crashes like an Android phone. Stock up, look cool, and let the t

-shirt do the flirting.

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